I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
