Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
