i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i drank out of a bidet.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
