More tranny stories later!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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