i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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