Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
