I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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