Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
