Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
my being single is dangerous.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
