...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
