all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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