grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
