I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
