She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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