oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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