I am in a vortex of obligation.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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