I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Randomize
