they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
