Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
