yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Reggie can tackle my bush.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
