he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Come see our sink grown plant.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
