You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
