how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
