I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
