she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
did i just pee glitter
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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