Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
