You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
cat food counts as protein by the way
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
