At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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