we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
