i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
How does it feel to date your dad?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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