Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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