Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
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