My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
