dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
