You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Randomize
