I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
