i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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