Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
