She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
