Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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