Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
