i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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