she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I would ride that face into the sunset
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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