fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
