Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
