And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
