Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
