He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
