I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
