I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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