I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
