Just mADE A PArabola og urine
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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