My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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