We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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