Fuck appropriateness.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
