he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
