party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Randomize
